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Heartfelt Stories 心故事

心故事 | 我们的孩子需要的不是同情,是接纳

We appologize that this news entry is only available in Chinese at the moment.

为了全面了解中德融创工场的员工,我们特别策划「心故事」系列,向大家展示和分享他们的故事,通过“追本溯源”的家属访谈,了解员工的发展过程和家属的心路历程。希望可以以此呼吁更多人尊重理解心智障碍人士,为心智障碍者家庭提供帮助,让心智障碍家庭不再孤单。
每个家庭都有着属于他们的故事,而他们经历的种种,或许正在让故事更跌宕起伏。今天故事的主人公是中德融创工场员工李融和她的妈妈穆岩。
以下为李融妈妈穆岩口述:

冬天的诊断

2003年,大年初三这天,融融出生了。春节期间,我们收到了比平时更多的祝福。
随着融融慢慢长大,她不能正常走路,跌跌跄跄,对外界不感兴趣,反应迟钝,我们意识到她和别的孩子不一样。

▲儿时的李融

2005年,依旧在一个寒冷的冬天,融融被确诊为运动发育迟缓导致智力发育迟缓。
每个父母都希望自己的小孩是健康的,从被确诊的那天开始,我们就和每个心智障碍儿童家长一样,走上了一条特别漫长且方向未知的道路。

▲全家福

认命,但不任性

一个又一个的困难迎面而来,因为融融的特殊,我们遭受了太多的异样的眼光。在公共场所,融融那不合时宜的举动,突然发出的声音,让周围人唰的一下子目光就聚拢过来了,当时我的心就揪起来了。
命运的不公选择了我们,但我们不能逃避。为了大家可以接纳李融,我们迈出了第一步。我第一次向人解释的时候,声音是颤抖的,眼泪在眼眶里打转,脸上挂的笑容是很难看的,但是还好大家给予我的回应多数都是善意的,这让我们有了更多的鼓励。

▲一家三口合照

这十几年,我给自己总结了几个字:认命,但不任性。这个认,不单是承认,也是责任。这个命,不仅是命运,也是使命。

举家搬迁为了就业

2018年,通过朋友知道了中德融创工场,并且有机会亲自到现场参观,我非常羡慕当地的心智障碍家庭,能有这么好一个为心智障碍人士提供就业平台。2020年,融融初中毕业了,接下来她要做什么?她今后的学习和生活方向是什么?成了我们家里面的大事。
为了让她能有一个更好的生活和工作环境,我们做出了一个重大的决定,举家从辽宁葫芦岛搬至江苏太仓,开始一场全新的旅程。

▲李融一家搬到太仓的住所

2020年12月,融融顺利进入中德融创工场。工作后的融融变得更加细腻,更加愿意表达自己,也明显自信很多。

▲爱笑的李融

融融每天都在进步,这种进步,给我们全家带来巨大的成就感和喜悦感。而我们做得最多的就是鼓励她,遇到不开心的事情及时开导她给她力量,不断强化她自我能力方面进步,让她可以更有自豪感。在中德融创工场工作期间,融融从一个小女孩成长为现在一个心中有梦想的心青年。

▲认真工作的李融

想开、放开、离开

这十几年当中,有特别多的体会,跟大家分享一下。想开,不能把自己的孩子总跟那些正常的孩子放在一起比,越比越痛苦。我总是拿融融的过去和现在比,这样比较,你就会发现,他们也在成长与改变。

▲李融帮妈妈做家务

放开,要信任孩子,不要觉得孩子什么都不行,什么都做不好,我们的孩子也需要一个过程。现在融融可以帮我做一些力所能及的家务,我不舒服的时候,给我烧水泡脚,这些让我真的觉得特别骄傲。还有一个放开就是带她出去参加各种活动,去各地旅游看不同的风景,开阔视野增长见识。

▲游山玩水,去各地旅游

离开,我们要学会适当离开,这个距离就是,让她在我的视线中,但是不能在我的怀抱里,让她习惯于自己去跟外界的人多一些接触和沟通,不依赖家人。

▲参加不同之美融合运动会

我也想对所有跟我一样,有心智障碍儿童的家长说:不要怕,孩子不是我们的灾难,她是我们的老师,她教会我们怎样面对不一样的人生,教我们如何感受爱和被爱!我最想对全社会说:我们的孩子需要的不是同情,是接纳。希望大家在遇到他们的时候,能够给他们一个善意的微笑,一个友好的眼神,还有一个平和的态度。
December 31, 2021
https://inclusion-factory.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/心故事cover.jpg 1596 2546 Forest Leung https://inclusion-factory.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Inclusion-Factory-Logo-200.png Forest Leung2021-12-31 21:03:262022-04-16 10:50:39心故事 | 我们的孩子需要的不是同情,是接纳
Heartfelt Stories 心故事

105 Stoplights Each Way for Three Years. I Did It Because He’s My Son

In order to fully understand the employees of Inclusion Factory, we specially planned the “Heartfelt Stories” series to share their stories with everyone. Through interviews with family members, we can understand the development process of employees and the journey of their families. We hope that this can be used to appeal to more people to respect and understand people with intellectual disabilities, and to provide help to their families so that they are no longer alone.

The protagonists of today’s story are Yao Shengjie—an employee of Inclusion Factory—and his parents.


Say no to isolation, refuse “captivity”

In 2003, Yao Shengjie was diagnosed with autism at the age of three.

It’s a tough diagnosis for any parents to hear, and Yao Shengjie’s parents also found it hard to accept the fact. Raising children with autism presents unique obstacles which must be carefully navigated.

The first obstacle his parents encountered is that while taking care of the hyperactive Shengjie, they must also take the initiative to find ways for relatives, friends, and people around them to understand and accept him. His father even gave up his job and took Shengjie to Nanjing to attend a half-year training program. He hoped that his child could live like a normal kid instead of being quarantined.

Later Shengjie went to a school for children with special needs. When it was time for him to graduate and enter society, the question came up: where was he supposed to go?

Work, for a lot of people with autism, is a challenge. After Shengjie entered his adulthood, his parents found Inclusion Factory through a friend’s recommendation. Today, Shengjie is 20 years old and has worked at Inclusion Factory for two years. He has become independent!

From zero social life to active socialization

After returning from Nanjing, Yao Shengjie’s father opened an auto repair shop in Kunshan to help support the family.

 The first year when Yao Shengjie was in the shop with his dad, he ignored the customers and did not communicate with anyone. He was sealed off in his own world.

“Ever since Shengjie went to work in Inclusion Factory, his whole personality has changed. He started to actively engage with others. When I am chatting to clients in the shop, he will introduce himself and tell my clients that he makes marbles and plastic balls. Our family was amazed.” Shengjie’s father said.

Whether it is a charity school or a training institution, Yao Shengjie was always the passive one. However, with his experience at Inclusion Factory, Shengjie grew both in school and society. With this change in living environment, his ability to communicate increased and his social skills grew. Finally, he was fully qualified for his job. Shengjie now has boosted his self-confidence, and he has begun to slowly open himself up.

Yao Shengjie’s mother said, “Before Shengjie went to work, his best relationship at home was with his father. Since he started working, he actually took the initiative to call me ‘Mom’ for the first time, grew closer to me, and took the initiative to communicate with me. Now he is willing to help me with housework, washing dishes and drying clothes and so on. He is a smart, capable and handsome young man. ”

Yao Shengjie’s progress and active socializing have put the whole family at ease. Everything used to have to be about him, but now their heavy hearts have been put to rest. Yao Shengjie’s parents expressed that the benefits they gain from him having a job far exceed any disability subsidies they receive from the government.

Confidence, patience, and perseverance are all indispensable

 

In addition to operating the shop, Yao Shengjie’s father is also responsible for driving him to and from work every day. He said, “There are 105 red lights, and a round trip takes an hour and a half. I have been doing this for three years. Now I can recall the route in my mind with my eyes closed. ”

When we asked what made him insist on the 30 km round-trip pick up and drop off every day, he replied, “Because he is my son, this is my responsibility and obligation. Even if it is hundreds of kilometers away, we are willing to send him to Inclusion Factory. ”

For a family, raising a person with intellectual disabilities is a long-term battle with no endpoint. It requires confidence, patience, and perseverance.

Translation is supported by Inktale Shanghai.

 

November 30, 2021
https://inclusion-factory.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/心故事.jpg 798 1310 Forest Leung https://inclusion-factory.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Inclusion-Factory-Logo-200.png Forest Leung2021-11-30 11:31:232021-12-01 09:46:53105 Stoplights Each Way for Three Years. I Did It Because He’s My Son

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